When
by brickroad16
Summary: Sarah and Chuck have a baby. Oneshot.


Title: When

Summary: Sarah and Chuck have a baby. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: _Chuck _doesn't belong to me.

A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to update recently! School's killing me a little bit. But I remembered this story that I had forgotten about, and since it was mostly finished, I touched it up a bit. Hope this tides you over until I can update Two Years Later!

* * *

When the first test doesn't come out the way she wants it to, she walks back to the drugstore for another. She doesn't drive, thinking the walk will calm her. But all it does is allow her time to dwell on all these wonderful possibilities that she definitely should not be thinking about. She knows how the agency will view the situation, and the thought is sobering.

Back at her apartment, the second test yields the same result as the first, and she's glad she picked up a third just in case. Knowing it'll be the same, she takes the third one anyway, hoping against hope that the first two were just defective, or old, or _anything_ that would let her avoid confronting this. She sinks onto the side of the bathtub as the results of the third test appear. She's never needed anyone more than she needs him at this moment, and since she'll have to tell him eventually, she punches the first number on speed-dial.

She's not prepared for him to answer on the first ring, and it makes her even more nervous than she already was. She stammers something about needing him, but he worriedly promises to be there in ten minutes and hangs up before she can explain that it's not a dire emergency.

He promises to be there in ten minutes, but if the clock hanging above the toilet is right, it only takes him seven. For her, those seven minutes are hell. They're worse than being physically tortured for carrying secret intelligence, worse than being caught in a hailstorm of bullets, worse than leaving your family for a job that could be your last. From her perch in the bathroom, she hears him burst through the front door.

"Sarah!" He calls out, the concern evident in his voice.

She can't seem to find her voice to answer him, but the apartment is small, and he finds her within a moment. He passes the doorway of the bathroom, but doubles back after he catches sight of her. He kneels in front of her, and envelops her in his arms. He feels so warm, so _safe_. She leans into him, burying her head into his shoulder. He holds her tighter.

"Hey, are you all right? What's the matter? What happened?" he asks softly. Now that he's seen that she's not in immediate danger, his tone is less urgent. He pulls away from her to look into her eyes, and the compassion in his gaze is overwhelming. Taking in those gorgeous, affectionate brown eyes, she decides that her baby is going to inherit those eyes, and that she'll fight to be able to see both sets of those eyes every day for the rest of her life.

Worry is etched all over his face, and she desperately wants to alleviate his fears, but all she can do is kiss him. Though the kiss takes him aback, he quickly recovers and shifts his position on the floor as she tugs on his shirt to pull him closer to her. It's slow and intense, and it allays all the doubts that she had pushed to the back of her mind. Because when he holds her, she feels like they can achieve anything. And even though this particular something seemed impossible five minutes ago without him, she knows that they'll be okay, that they'll figure it out.

Reluctantly, she breaks the kiss and leans her forehead against his, closing her eyes. He chuckles lightly, no doubt utterly confused by her hormone-induced, erratic behavior.

"Chuck," she whispers, and her voice comes out breathier and less sure than she expected. He waits patiently for her to continue, so she extracts herself from his embrace and reaches to grab the third test. Clearing her throat, she hands it to him hesitantly.

He takes it in shaking fingers, and, though she can tell he's not quite sure what the code for positive and negative is, he knows what it means. He chokes at the realization, and covers it up with a cough. His face is so vulnerable, but as soon as he looks up at her, his eyes fill with hope.

"We're going to be parents?" he questions cautiously.

She nods, and he grins – his wide, bright grin that she loves so much.

He breaks out into a laugh, and his laughter is so infectious that she can't resist the urge to join in.

* * *

When she and Chuck plan to tell Ellie and Awesome, she's nervous. She's nervous because she hasn't been part of a family for so long, and all of a sudden, she's starting a new one. When she and Chuck were the only people who knew, it felt like surreal, like they were just playing a game. But now that they're telling other people, and not just anyone, but the most important people in Chuck's life, it feels so much more tangible.

Ellie practically squeals in delight when she hears the news. Within seconds, Sarah is being suffocated by the brunette doctor's embrace.

Devon grins widely, his teeth shining. "Chuck, Sarah, congratulations. That's awesome." He gives Chuck an equally chest-crushing hug. It seems to be a theme with this family.

Sarah would laugh – it's exactly what she expected from Devon – if her air supply weren't currently being cut off by an overly-affectionate hug. Fortunately, Ellie soon releases her, but her grin doesn't fade.

"Oh, Sarah! Chuck! I'm so happy for you guys!" she gushes, now wrapping her brother in a hug. He looks sheepishly happy as his sister wishes him joy for the twentieth time in the past two minutes.

"Ellie, Ellie, I can't breathe!" he protests, and she laughs and lets him go.

They settle down on Sarah's couch, and Ellie offers her doctoral advice and womanly intuition to the ecstatic couple. The four discuss kids and marriage and life in general, and Sarah loves feeling absolutely normal. When Awesome and Chuck start talking about building a crib, she laughs inwardly at the mental of image of nerdy Chuck handling power tools. The boys retreat to the kitchen for a few more drinks, and Sarah is left with Ellie on the couch. She looks over at Chuck's sister, sitting peacefully on the opposite end of the couch.

"Ellie?" Sarah asks quietly.

"Mmm?" the brunette responds, sipping from her glass of wine.

Sarah reaches out a hand. Ellie takes the hint and moves to sit closer to the blonde woman. Now that she's fairly certain she's going to be a permanent fixture in Chuck's life, Sarah feels like getting close to Ellie is relatively safer than it had been before. Ellie's effusive, big-sisterly ways are a perfect complement to Sarah's introverted and quiet ones. And it's been far too long since Sarah's interacted with a sister-figure. She leans slightly against the older woman.

"Will you be our baby's godmother?"

Ellie gasps in delight. "Sarah! Of course I will!" She laughs. "I'm honored. O my gosh! I have so much to do! We need to go shopping! How's Thursday for you?"

Sarah chuckles. Yep. This baby's going to have one hell of an interesting life.

* * *

When Casey finds out, the whole gang is having dinner at Ellie and Awesome's apartment. Even though she and Chuck told everyone that they didn't want to make a big deal about it, Morgan lets it slip, poking Sarah in the stomach. Casey chokes on his cosmopolitan, and, jaw clenched, asks to talk to her outside.

She obliges calmly, and waits for him to speak. But he doesn't. He just does that Casey-stare, where his eyes widen like they're about to pop. And she's not sure what to say, because it's really none of his business. So she watches his eyes bug out, and waits for him to control his anger.

He finally does, and manages to spit out, "Care to explain?"

As far as she's concerned, her relationship with Chuck is her touchstone. If she tells Casey, Casey will tell Beckman, who will tell Graham, who will reassign her.

"Not really," she responds with an icy glare.

"What's a matter? Afraid I'm gonna take you away from your little boy toy in there?" The words are harsh, but his gaze immediately softens. He looks at the ground, and she recognizes with a pang the look he gets when he thinks about Ilsa. Watching him shuffle his feet, she tries to think of some comforting words, but that's not really the kind of relationship they have. Before the silence gets tremendously awkward, though, he speaks again, his voice husky this time, "I won't tell the superiors."

"Thank you," she says gratefully, feeling ten times lighter than she did when she stepped outside with him.

He turns to go back inside, and she barely catches his next words. "But you can't keep this from them forever."

* * *

When Chuck asks her to move in with him, she almost drops the water she's drinking in her haste to accept his offer.

They find a suitable apartment only a few minutes from Ellie and Awesome, and she manages to convince Casey that bugs are unnecessary in the new place. Since she and Casey are on the same side, and since she'll be by Chuck's side for most of the day, there's no need to bug the apartment. And she's looking forward to having a real, unmonitored conversation with her boyfriend.

They break in the new apartment by making love their first night. It's slow and sweet and gentle. He's worried about her hurting her in her 'condition,' but she reassures him by pulling him onto the bed, laughing. And when she wakes the next morning, nestled into the crook of his neck, she realizes that this is the life she wants, and even needs.

When she comes home from the Wienerlicious that day, Chuck is in the midst of making dinner. It's such the perfect picture of a normal life that she can't help but stand in the doorway, entranced by the scene. Watching him, she knows she would quit the CIA tomorrow in exchange for this life with him, if only he didn't need protecting. She makes a promise to herself that as soon as those secrets are out of his head, as soon as he's out of danger, she's quitting her job. He turns around soon enough, though, and catches her staring. He greets her with a small kiss, but she grabs him and deepens it before he can move away.

"Well, hello to you, too," he grins as they pull apart.

They spend the rest of the evening making dinner together, but between the touching and the kissing and the general distractions, it takes them much longer than it should.

They settle down for a quiet night after dinner, and, mostly because she hasn't gotten the hang of his video games yet, Chuck challenges her to a game of Scrabble. Always competitive, she plays a mean game, trying her hardest to beat him. He teases her whenever she uses obscure words to rack up more points, but he's a good player, and she ends up winning only by a slight margin.

She retreats into the kitchen to make hot chocolate and leaves him to clean up the game. When she returns, two steaming mugs in her hand, she stops in her tracks. There's one word left on the board:

Marriage

He sheepishly looks up from where he's sitting Indian-style on the floor. She's astonished. There are so many things wrong with this plan, but then again, they've broken so many rules already. What's one more? Setting the hot chocolate down, she sits down close to him on the floor. His gaze never leaves her face.

"Are you asking?" she whispers.

He smiles, "If you're accepting . . ."

* * *

When they get married, it's a simple affair. She wears a pale yellow dress, the curve of her belly barely visible below its satiny material. She likes the dress because it hasn't been tainted by being worn on a mission. And she definitely likes the way Chuck forgets to breathe when he catches his first glimpse of her wearing it. He dons a dark suit with a yellow tie to match her dress, and she thinks he looks quite dashing.

The only guests are Ellie, Devon, Morgan, Anna, and Casey (who barely hides his disapproval). For the celebration, they get a private room in a small, elegant restaurant that Devon recommends and spend most of the night talking and laughing.

It's nothing like the weddings she had imagined as a little girl, but it still manages to exceed all her expectations.

* * *

When Ellie offers to take her maternity shopping for the first time, she almost declines.

Her sister-in-law drags her to four or five maternity and baby stores. Each time Sarah steps foot into one, she becomes a little more overwhelmed. But Ellie soon calms her, and they find tons of things she and Chuck will need to get ready for this baby. They buy blankets and bottles and pregnancy books and more than Sarah could possibly imagine. She's incredulous that one tiny kid can need so much, but Ellie just laughs and holds up a onesie that reads: "I'm a gamer, like my father before me."

"It's perfect, Ellie! Chuck will love it!"

"I thought so!"

They find a few more onesies with _Star Wars_, science-fiction, and video game references before they move on to buying some neutral ones.

By the end of the night, Sarah's exhausted and her bank account's taken a tremendous plunge.

To her surprise, and happiness, the trips become something of a routine. Ellie's adamant that Sarah take care of herself during her pregnancy, which really means that Ellie takes Sarah out once a week for relaxation and girl time. Sometimes it's a spa, sometimes it's shopping, sometimes it's just lunch. She also uses that time to grill Sarah and make sure she's eating properly and getting enough sleep and not doing anything dangerous. If only she knew the life Sarah leads behind the scenes.

Her time with Ellie is so normal that she sometimes wonders if it's doing more harm than good. She definitely needs to relax, but she fears that spending time with Chuck's sister is dulling her awareness. Even so, she's never late for her meetings with Ellie.

* * *

When her stomach begins to swell, and people begin to notice her on the street when she's walking hand-in-hand with Chuck, she gets a little happier each day. She's especially delighted when Chuck presses his hand to the small of her back whenever they're out in public, a move that she's come to recognize as his way of protecting her. She used to hold the opinion that two people from different worlds could never be content together for very long. But each passing day proves her wrong.

She knows now that if she protects Chuck in her world, and he protects her in his, they'll be more than merely happy.

* * *

When her water breaks, she's pleasantly surprised – and strengthened – by the fact that he doesn't freak out – at least not to the extent that she expected. Calmly, he grabs her bag and ushers her gently into the car, calling Ellie on his cell phone. Usually a safe driver, he nonetheless speeds down the side streets and the highway, narrowly avoiding being pulled over by more than one cop. He's even so good as to let her hold onto his hand, and she squeezes it for dear life as she tries to keep this kid inside her at least during the drive to the hospital.

He's not so collected in the delivery room. Two and a half hours into the labor, he starts to feel faint, and loses his concentration. Luckily, Ellie, Devon, and their doctor friends are able to calm him down and send him outside for a breath of fresh air. She feels his absence strongly, but it's the catalyst she needs to push what she's starting to think of as this gigantic, humanish _thing_ out of her body.

Chuck doesn't stay away long, not even five minutes, and he returns composed and in time to catch the birth of his son.

* * *

When Ellie, Devon, Morgan, Anna, and Casey all crowd into the room a few hours later, Sarah's sure they're exceeding the limits for visitors. It's like a little party, and everyone takes turns fawning over the newborn. Chuck takes about a hundred pictures with his digital camera (and some on his iPhone), even grabbing a few of Casey holding the little tyke before the NSA agent threatens, through clenched teeth, to strangle him with the camera strap.

She feels like it's the inauguration of her new family, and the intimacy makes her yearn for a lifetime of days with them. Chuck leans over the back of his sister's chair, watching gleefully as Devon rocks their baby boy. He looks over at Sarah, catching her eye and grinning.

Gazing into his eyes, even from across the room, she can read the promise in them – the promise that he'll do everything he can to give her the life she craves.

* * *

When their visitors have left and it's just her, Chuck, and their brand new son, she realizes that they've completely forgotten to choose a name for their baby.

"Chuck! We didn't pick out any names!"

He laughs, but she can't tell if he's laughing at their stupidity or at the giggling baby in his arms. He looks up at her in surprise, "How'd we do that?"

Incredulous that they could have forgotten the simplest and most important thing, she scoots over on the hospital bed and pats the mattress. "I have no idea, but we'll just need to rectify the situation right now."

He smiles broadly, and sits down beside her, where they can admire their son together. He's a gorgeous baby, and she doesn't care what people say, some babies just _aren't_, but theirs is. Only a few hours old, it's extremely hard to tell which parent he'll grow up to resemble more, but right now, it's looking like he'll be a smaller version of his father, which makes her exceptionally happy. He has a thick wad of dark hair and soft brown eyes that light up when he smiles, something he does frequently.

"Since he looks so much like you, why don't we name him after you?"

"Eh, two Chucks in the family? No thanks! I couldn't put my kid through that," he protests with a smile. The baby crinkles his nose. "Besides, I don't think he likes it that much."

She laughs, "All right, um . . . wow, this is hard." Chuck grows contemplative. Noticing that he won't look up at her, she nudges him. "Hey."

He gives her a crooked smile, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. "Hey."

"What is it?" she asks him softly.

"It's just," he begins, but falters. The baby gurgles, and Chuck shifts his arms to make him more comfortable. "What about your father?" he asks without looking at her. She sees where he's heading with the question, but lets him continue. "Listen, I know you're not supposed to tell me things like that, but it's your son, it's his grandson. Even if he can't know about his existence, can't we at least name his grandson after him?"

"Chuck," she begins, but he cuts her off.

"Yeah, I know, it's stupid."

He sulks for a minute, rocking the baby slightly back and forth, trying to put him to sleep.

She watches them silently, these two men in her life, who mean more to her than she ever thought people could mean to one another.

"Luke," she whispers.

His head hitches, and she's not sure he caught what she said.

"What?"

"My father's name was Luke," she repeats, her voice stronger now.

Chuck looks over at her, smiling. He nods, "I like that." Looking back at the baby, he pronounces, "Luke."

She leans into Chuck. "But I want his middle name to be Charles."

He laughs, "Fine. I guess that's better as a middle name than as a first name, anyways."

He passes their sleeping son to her, and she cradles him gently in her arms.

"Welcome to the world, Luke Charles Bartowski."

* * *

When Morgan learns that she and Chuck named their son Luke, he and Anna show up at the hospital the next day as soon as visiting hours begin with a huge bundle of presents. From the look on Anna's face, Sarah thinks that the presents were mostly Morgan's idea, and she's more than a little curious to see what he's brought.

In honor of his namesake, Morgan brings Luke a Luke Skywalker action figure. Actually, not just one – three. One from each movie. He also buys him the complete _Star Wars_ saga on DVD (which Sarah feels bad about, because it must have cost him at least a day's pay). She protests that he take it back, seeing as Chuck already owns the complete saga, but Morgan insists that Luke'll be grateful that he has his own two decades from now when he goes away to college. Sarah can't really argue with that, so she just laughs and accepts it graciously.

Sarah's personal favorites are the Star Wars posters that Morgan bought to adorn the baby's room. If she puts all twelve up, they won't have any wall space left, but she promises to put up at least two or three. Chuck particularly likes the die cast Luke Skywalker statue. He likes it so much that within two seconds of seeing it, he announces exactly where it's going to be placed in the baby's room – right on top of the mahogany chest that's currently spilling over with baby clothes.

Morgan's final gift, and the most spectacular, is a toy lightsaber. He can barely contain his enthusiasm as he explains his reasons for purchasing the one from _Jedi_ and not from _A New Hope_, and Sarah makes a mental note to notice the difference when they watch the new DVDs (which they no doubt will, and very soon). Morgan apologizes for not being able to spring for the replica lightsaber, but Chuck, utterly ecstatic at his best friend's thoughtfulness, waves him off with a goofy grin and a crushing hug.

Surprisingly, Morgan is very good with Luke. Once she sees this, she regrets a little that she convinced Chuck to ask Casey to be his godfather. But then she remembers how much Casey softened to their situation after he accepted his new protective role, and she silently promises herself to ask Morgan to be godfather to their next child.

And, looking at Chuck right now, taking countless pictures of their newborn with his best friends and their thoughtful gifts, she's certain that this is only the start of a large and happy family.


End file.
